random stuff :)

Im scared…..but this weekend i learned a lot and I cant/wont dwell on things i can’t change but focus on what I can do now to make the change and realized how much more blessed I am with the amazing friends I have here to support, and make me genuinely laugh and a guy I can count on to make me smile even in my stress and break downs, whether he knows or not. I love you guys…..but I realize I wont be getting much support from you and I know times are hard but trust me okay? I’m not a child anymore, but then again deep down I kinda am, and would love to someday see you guys truly proud of me and realize how much what I do really means to me and that I sometimes can’t do everything alone but that I do my absolute best, even though its hard. first year almost done……just the start though :)

hmmm okay not quite….but kinda?

But this is life, and its normal how im feeling. It just sucks, but less so now. I am truly grateful to have such amazing friends by my side who are willing to do almost anything and be by my side as long as possible untill im better.<3 

InJung:means understanding, and i realize i really do live up to my name.

I do understand and truly do just wish the best for you. I want you to find what it is you want and need in your life. and I may not have been the one who caught you, but hey, like you said maybe i might in the future or (being the gosu guy you are) you’ll find someone who you really feel was meant for you :) and i say that with no cynisism or sarcasm but with real sincerty. yes i am weird, but hey thats just me. I’m glad for what you’ve done for me and making me know what really liking someone of my own accord and having them like me back feels like. To be in a relationship i chose to be in because i wanted to, not because peer pressure. And i’m glad i got to say what i feel, and i’m glad I got to see the you that I came to like so much, the guys who I wanted to be in relationship with. 

Yes, my tear ducts are not completely dry….but i still have a smile on my face. I will keep smiling, because i promised my mom that i would through thick and thin….which i am reminded of because this sunday is mothers day <3

I promise i’ll be okay :’) I love all my friends and am nothing more than grateful.

sodamnrelatable:

Normal people:

Me: “ Duck, duck,duck, come here duck…”

via (sodamnrelatable)

heheee made me smile before going to bed :)

Yup, those words are constantly stuck on my lips….

but its not a lie, I am tired

tired of feeling stupid

tired of ALWAYS or almost always being second

tired of feeling stressed because I have to do better/stand as a role model or to expectations

tired of being so nice

tired of being so small

tired of feeling insecure

tired of feeling ugly

tired of judging myself and being so critical

tired of worrying all the time

tired of never letting anyone in

tired…..

maybe i just need sleep, but yah just tired

Been feeling the following

-stressed because of school

-frustrated that I keep on having these things pop in my mind that i ponder over and drives me nuts BUT i cant/dont talk about it=more stress

-tired from lack of sleep

-irritated/scared to eat as I please because of stupid (what i believe to be) was food poisoning :’(

BUT, today i heard a real moving story and reall you do only live once and gotta make the best of life :) this is the storm but it’ll pass and I know that really things are better than I may make them out to be sometimes :)

you know it hurts me too…..

-nasri

stress+things on my mind bothering, yet cant talk about it~result? new choreo oh yhup ;)